Le cinema has a short memory. And if it is generally admitted that it is an art still young, it happens too often to wallow in the nostalgia of old diva, ready to die to regain a little of its youth and of its magnificent glory. This mood revolting probably explains why the muse of cinema, yet doomed to arouse the impulses of creative, surrenders frequently to the pitfalls of the remake. But any moviegoer who received the visions of the many remakes disappointing or pointless, one day ask this cruel question : Why producers and artists in need of inspiration remakent original works by known and estimated, so that it would be more daring to attack those who were not able to transform the experiment, when the initial idea or some elements had been enough to tickle our curiosity ? I know it’s been a long question, but let’s amuse ourselves for a moment to review some of these films, shaky, or downright failed, which would give rise to a good remake if a few opportunistic Hollywood or elsewhere, read by chance this folder.
The original : released in 1997, directed by Mark Dippé, with Michael Jai White, John Leguizamo and Martin Sheen, based on the comics by Todd McFarlane
Al Simmons, an agent of the secret services of the united states, is eliminated in a mission in a factory of biochemical weapons, on the order of his boss, Jason Wynn. Arrived in hell, he concluded a pact with the demon Malebolgia in order to review his wife Wanda. In exchange, he will lead the armies of Evil in their ultimate battle against the forces of Good. Simmons then becomes a warrior with supernatural powers : Spawn.
Why a remake : Then, like that 20th Century Fox is preparing for us a new adaptation of Fantastic Four, ten years after the release of Tim Story ? If Hollywood feels that he is running in circles with the main emblematic figures of the comics, maybe, or should it broaden its horizons and look to the heroes worn by publishers other than Marvel. Among these publishers, Image comics has particularly marked the years 90, thanks to his hero/anti-hero Spawn,and this reputation is enough for that New Line Cinema will commit a adaptation and barns to enjoy between accomplices around a pack of beers and a pizza, laughing at the special effects disastrous. Damage, the missionary of the underworld really deserves an adaptation worthy of the name, because its atmosphere that is both sticky and daunting, his representation of hell and its questions of good and evil, could we change a bit the ideas in the face of the blockbusters of super-heroes too much in their visuals as to their stories.
JEAN PHILIPPE – trailer VF by CoteCine
The original : released in 2006, directed by Laurent Tuel, with Fabrice Luchini, Johnny Hallyday and Guilaine Londez
Fabrice, middle, is an absolute fan of Johnny Hallyday, maybe same the biggest… But one day, he wakes up in a different reality, a parallel world where Johnny does not exist. Lost, orphan, it is then put to the research of Jean-Philippe Smet, to know what is become of him in this other dimension, and when he finally found it, it is to discover a pattern of bowling, a type like the others who never became a star. Fabrice has only one goal : to resurrect his idol, wake the “Johnny” who slumbers in Jean-Philippe.
Why a remake : The original idea was brilliant, not only have they launched a postulate of parallel world of fun, but it was also an apparent shift of its characters, brought by fate to work as much on behaviours as on their ambitions. Laurent Tuel was there anything to surprise us all, alternating gags and moments of emotions, but alas, his scenario gets well soon purr, to advance way too predictable, and the director seems to rely on the collusion evident between Luchini and Hallyday. I would be curious to see what would give the concept if a new team was attempting a new trial, with this time, why not an international star, David Bowie, Marylin Manson or Lady Gaga ? The kind of delirium pop and burlesque that will allow the american comedies.
The original : released in 1987, directed by Claudio Fragasso and Bruno Mattei, with Mapi Galan, Vasily k a r and Carlos Bravo.
In 1875, in New Mexico, the daughter of an indian chief, Yari, is kidnapped by a troop of soldiers southerners. The young woman manages to escape and comes to take refuge in the home of Matt, a veteran become a farmer, who agrees to protect her.
Why a remake : My main argument, the director : Bruno Mattei. True pope of cinema bis Italian, his productions have not finished to make laugh lovers of nanars. If the scenario proposed by Richard Harrison, veteran actor of the series B, seems rather well thought of in skillfully integrating the interactions between the characters, dramatic tension and the action of the atmosphere of the western; his good intentions are unfortunately ruined by the mediocrity of the director, and especially by his immoderate taste for gratuitous violence and grimy. Since Hollywood has graced some excellent westerns in recent years, perhaps this could be considered a remake of this little-known film but not dénue of interest, such as the Coen brothers are interested in one Hundred dollars for a sheriff and Quentin Tarantino to the series of Django. There certainly would be a way to make Scalps, a film loaded with tension, and with a about anti-racist, if, a contrario, of the original, the producers had enough money so that the players do not have the air of a bunch of mates dressed as indians for a party in a hall in the suburbs.
MURDERS UNDER CONTROL
The original : released in 1976, directed by Larry Cohen, with Tony Lo Bianco, Deborah Raffin , and Richard Lynch.
A detective in New York investigating a series of murders committed in the city by individuals whose only link, claim to have acted “according to the will of God”.
Why a remake : fans of fantasy can once again thank the great Larry Cohen, he offers here one of his best ideas, brought by the freedom and creativity of the 70’s. But the film has unfortunately suffered the fate of many of the B movies of the time, its low budget makes today seem its visual effects if not cheap, at least old-fashioned. I would love to see a new version where the riots and other phenomena of the masses, would seem truly spectacular, where the character “deus ex machina” played by Richard Lynch would appear iconic; for it is enough to make a new mythological figure of the fantastic cinema. Gaspar Noé boat for five years for remaker this story synthesizing christianity, demonology, thriller with sniper crazy, critical of american society and (attention spoiler !) influences alien; let’s hope that he or a filmmaker ambitious of his kind to successfully conduct the project.
The original : released in 2009, directed by Yann Moixwith Franck Dubosc, Pierre-François Martin-Laval and Lucy Gordon
Régis Deloux, unexpectedly, has the power to travel into movies after being poked by a pin. This allows him to meet the woman of his dreams. From film to film (a fistful of dollars, Tarzan, Robin hood…), he must save Viviane Cook that the dastardly Douglas Craps has removed.
Why a remake : Cinéman is a perfect example of a movie missed. Missed moment of her conception, since Yann Moix has not managed to develop its concept and jubilant by constructing a scenario effective; he seems to have chosen to deal with the idea through the comedy, before they have found enough of the comic effects in order to justify this treatment, and therefore the humor of the film rests almost solely on the slaughter of Franck Dubosc. Missed in his development since, despite a strong budget, the production patina and the treatment of image and sound, to mimic those films visited, will never be really successful; what was supposed to be a tribute to the most enduring images of cinema, thus appears as a diversion foutraque the tone overly buffoon. And failed in its purpose, since after having been delayed several times because of his post-laborious production, the film passes almost unnoticed upon its release and leaving a bitter taste in movie goers, then he would have been able to combine three articles at once: ufo, visual comedy and generational success at the box-office. With a little luck, the basic concept of awaken the appetite of savvy producers, who may offer to Cinéman a scenario that is more clever and an artistic direction more controlled.
HELLRAISER : BLOODLINE
The original : released in 1996, directed by Alan Smithee, with Bruce Ramsay and Doug Bradley, the fourth film adapted from the work of Clive Barker
The twenty-second century, Paul Merchant, a scientist, is preparing to trap a demon in a space station. It is stopped by the military in that it must tell the story of the curse of his lineage. It begins in the Eighteenth century, when a toy manufacturer named Lemarchant creates a box puzzle for the Duke of The Isle. This duke, a satanist, makes this box a gateway to hell and in fact come out Angelic. In the Twentieth century, Angelica must confront Pinhead, the new ruler of the Underworld…
Why a remake : the last few years, the canadian director Patrick Lussier is working on a project of doing a remake ofHellraiser, the cult horror classic adapted from a novel by Clive Barker. But why would you want to revive the history of sado-maso-horror starting of the first game, which was already a success, then it would be more constructive to focus on the case of the fourth opus of the saga ? Bloodline is a frustrated old almost twenty years ago for all fans of the demon Pinhead, because his ambitious scenario combining three challenges on three different times, has suffered from the resignations successive principal writer and two filmmakers, and of drastic cuts in the budget, making the final result informed and inconsistent. A remake with a screenplay readable and artistic direction neat, enrich or even réinventerait the universe fascinating and terrifying puzzle of the demon.
The original : released in 2012, directed by Xavier Paludwith Jacques Gamblin, Lambert Wilson and Raphaëlle Agogué
The mutilated body of a young woman is found at his home. The investigation is entrusted to the captain Lassalle, a cop experienced and lonely. While other killings just as bloody are committed, Lassalle is intrigued by the personality of a blind man, Narvik. But the alibi of the suspect is plausible and her disability puts out of the question. A strange duel, like a game of chess, then engages between the two men.
Why a remake : If there is a criticism that is often at the polar French singer gimmicks of the american movie without showing the same efficiency, it is necessary to admit that the last decade we were granted a few nice surprises in the genre. But if The blind man had something on the paper, rendering it to the screen had left more of a fan of suspense on his hunger. The idea to reveal the killer’s identity from the beginning is not much of a handicap for the plot, but still it is necessary that the script has some good twists and turns to not run out of steam. And if the confrontation between the cop or the criminal must be the central element of the film, it is preferable that the two characters have enough personality to be credible (the cop is tired and depressed, you talk about a cliché !). If a director less lazy than Xavier Palud came here to bring his sense of tension, the peculiarity of the killer would be given more emphasis.
The original : released in 1996, directed by Michael Paseornek, with James Marshall and Christina Applegate
A musician promising loses his hands after an assault. Become homeless, he is befriended by a group of friends that go to him the manufacture of the hands of cybernetic and make him a king of techno.
Why a remake : It is true that this synopsis to be perplexing; if Vibration is a junk movie, ridiculous to force you to appear “cool” and “young s” to the eyes of the teens of the nineties, this original material could easily switch in on anything masterful. And who better than our Quentin Dupieux national to orchestrate this large no matter what ? Recall that the filmmaker was known in the middle of the electronic music under the name of Mr Oizo, offering the french touch, a universe of trendy and exuberant, much more inspired than the swamp clipesque in which is held the film. Let’s be crazy and assume that Dupieux put his madness for the benefit of a remake; it would continue a theme dear to him, that of the torments of a character marginal within a society are completely dysfunctional (disturbing mix of emotions and laughter from Eric Judor in Steak, for example), as well as highlighting its visual details crazy a soundtrack to the height of these previous compositions.
The original : released in 2006, directed by William Brent Bellwith Jon Foster, Sophia Bush and Frankie Muniz
After the sudden disappearances of their friends, a group of teenagers finds themselves in possession of Stay Alive, a video game horror loosely based on the true and chilling story of a woman of the Hungarian aristocracy in the seventeenth century, the countess Elizabeth Báthory. The players know nothing of this game, but they are dying to be the first to discover it. The border between the virtual world and the real world disappears then.
Why a remake : Unlike the horror classics remakés the past ten years, we can not say to Stay Alive has fascinated or traumatized a whole generation of teenagers. This missed appointment is likely to be to the heaviness with which the director is aimed at gamers, and more broadly to the geeks. The characters are so exaggerated that it is difficult to enter into empathy with them, and be concerned for their fate. If a fan of horror, the knowledge on the specificities of the medium video game, tackled the project, it would succeed where William Brent Bell has failed; that is to say, to manage the impression of immersion of this inquiry which simultaneously take place in the video game as in reality. She would have to find effects scary original, the exact opposite of the jumps scares of the original, scattered in the two worlds, as tasteless as the other one.
ALICE IN WONDERLAND
The original : released in 2010, directed by Tim Burton, with Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Deep and Helena Bonham-Carter, based on the tale by Lewis Carroll
Alice, now 19 years old, returns to the fantasy world she discovered when she was a child. There she found her friends the White Rabbit, White Cap and White Hat, the Dormouse, the Caterpillar, the Cheshire Cat and, of course, the Mad Hatter. Alice embarks in an extraordinary adventure where she will fulfil her destiny : to end the reign of terror of the Red Queen.
Why a remake : I’m going to cheat a little bit with the introduction of the file; and as most of the fans of Tim Burton, I regret the failure of a director for fifteen years, and Alice in wonderland represents everything that gives me the creeps in his bad choices. But if Burton is above all a cartoonist, an animator, and therefore a filmmaker’s eye; but the problem is not just in its visual appearance, its dimension storyline is just as bad. I, therefore, have no desire to see a change in aesthetic of this scenario formatted for Disney, I would rather a new adaptation of the tale by Lewis Carroll, with a greater cast of characters or patterns conducive to freeing the visual poetry of Burton. The director had already tried to adapt the tale to the beginning of the 90s, his glorious time; and it can be hoped that it has been trying again, when he has found inspiration and a state of mind more free. After all, he himself has remaké his short film Frankenweenie in 2012, thirty years after the original.
If you also dream that after Star Trek and Star Wars, J. J Abrams is endeavoring to be a remake of Flash Gordon; if you think that Bernard-Henri Levy should make a parody of his film The Day and the night, or if you plan to commit yourself to a version suédée Eight-and-a-half; don’t hesitate to share with us your enthusiasm in the comments.